Dirtbag Puccini

"More like Nessun Whore-ma."

Can anything on god’s green Internet ever match the naughty delights of Daniel Lavery’s Dirtbag series for The Toast? I seriously doubt it.

In the spirit of both having the occasional nice thing and good artists stealing, here is the first of what I hope can be a semi-occasional series of dirtbag music history.

FRIEND: hey, so i noticed

in your operas, all the women—

PUCCINI: [takes a long audible drag off his cigarette, does not make eye contact]

FRIEND: …die tragically?

PUCCINI: oh wow

do they

that’s crazy

FRIEND: really seems like a pattern

PUCCINI [texting mistress]: no idea what ur talking about